Strong Marriage Toolkit: Communication, Roles, Fun

A strong and mutually-supportive marriage is powerful thing. It can make the impossible, possible. It can also make the unbearable, bearable. Life is not easy. Marriage is not easy. But a strong marriage (something made not born) will redefine what is possible in your life. A great marriage is something that many people want, but few achieve. The good news: because a great marriage takes work, patience, tolerance, and willingness to change, — it is not some magical accident — that means that it can be better, it can be different, that you (plural) can make it better.

Here are a couple of the working parts in a great marriage:

Communication Are the messages being passed back and forth clear? Are they received? Is the intended recipient listening? Do both participants in the conversation know what is being discussed? Is the TV on? If the TV is on while you are trying to have a conversation, turn it off. Start there. How does one person know that the other is listening? How does the speaker know that the listener is getting the message?

Roles Who does what and why? There are a million little tasks that need to be taken care of in a shared life. Some of them are daily. Some are weekly. Some are monthly. Who does the work? Do they get recognized for their hard work. Appreciation and gratitude are rocket fuel for strong marriages.

Fun What have you done for fun in the last week? If you have to think too long, the answer is obvious: not enough. Do you have a well-articulated vision of what fun is in your marriage? Think about it. If you had basketful of money, and nothing else to do, what would you do together? Today.