Do you talk to yourself?
Of course!! Everybody does. The better question is “what do you say to yourself?”
Brene’ Brown, LCSW, a leading researcher in resiliency and human behavior notes that current research demonstrates that the difference between those that are confident and those who are not is that those who are — “claim their confidence”. They tell themselves positive messages, feel the positive feelings and act accordingly. Confident people don’t wait for someone else to give them permission for confidence or wait for others to take away confidence. I recommend that you take some time to check out Brene’ Brown on You Tube or one of her books.
A helpful exercise is to set an alarm to several intervals throughout the day. Then check to see what you are telling yourself. You may be surprised by the results.
What we put our attention on grows and what we take our attention away from diminishes. We need to counteract negative, blaming thoughts which destroy our growth.
The following are 5 affirmations which are worth time and effort in exploring.
- I have courage.
- I release my old unworkable patterns.
- I deserve a supportive relationship.
- I release my disappointments
- I am creating the life that I want.
Let’s consider some dialogue or self talk about each statement.
I have courage. We can picture a mountain road which has turn backs and inclines and declines. We can have the courage to keep moving knowing that it is not all uphill or downhill, but will lead to a vista with perspective. The root of courage is “cour”, referring to the heart. Listen to your heart.
I release my old unworkable patterns. Imagine a large old worn box in which you are contained. Now picture a new comfortable beautiful box. Visualize yourself stepping from one to the other. In this new box, you can embrace new habits and thoughts. You can try new ways to say and do things as well as new self messages.
I deserve a supportive relationship. We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. We can protect ourselves by putting up barriers to hurtful, controlling remarks and demands. Picture how animals protect their boundaries and respect others to take care of themselves. Ask yourself what a supportive relationship looks like to you and share it with those who are of support to you. Believe in your own value.
I release my disappointments. Hanging on to resentments and misgivings is a sure way to build anxiety and depression. Releasing disappointments can be visualized in many ways. One way is to name the disappointment and imagine putting it on an imaginary leaf to float down an imaginary stream. Another graphic visualization is to release one or several disappointments in an imaginary hot air balloon. You might also visualize a room with two doors in which you see the disappointment come in one door and exit the other. The disappointments don’t need to live in your mind, body, or spirit.
I am creating the life that I want. Putting your focus on the life that you want is the way to attract your desires. Try spending five to fifteen minutes a day watching a movie in your mind about the life that you want. Your intention will create your destiny. You’ll begin taking active steps to create a reality that is life fulfilling. Follow your positive self talk to create a meaningful life. Spiritual connection with a higher power will also give added guidance to your life. Knowing the recordings in your mind and where they came from is part of the equation to a healthier happier life. The other more important part is to choose what you say to yourself. This takes a conscious effort. Counseling is a valuable resource to identify the healthy and unhealthy messages an how to make adjustments. Listen to your voices and talk back.
By Sharon Nelson