Do you talk to yourself?
Of course!! Everybody does. The better question is “what do you say to yourself?”
Brene’ Brown, LCSW, a leading researcher in resiliency and human behavior notes that current research demonstrates that the difference between those that are confident and those who are not is that those who are — “claim their confidence”. They tell themselves positive messages, feel the positive feelings and act accordingly. Confident people don’t wait for someone else to give them permission for confidence or wait for others to take away confidence. I recommend that you take some time to check out Brene’ Brown on You Tube or one of her books.
A helpful exercise is to set an alarm to several intervals throughout the day. Then check to see what you are telling yourself. You may be surprised by the results.
What we put our attention on grows and what we take our attention away from diminishes. We need to counteract negative, blaming thoughts which destroy our growth.
The following are 5 affirmations which are worth time and effort in exploring.
Let’s consider some dialogue or self talk about each statement.
I have courage. We can picture a mountain road which has turn backs and inclines and declines. We can have the courage to keep moving knowing that it is not all uphill or downhill, but will lead to a vista with perspective. The root of courage is “cour”, referring to the heart. Listen to your heart.
I release my old unworkable patterns. Imagine a large old worn box in which you are contained. Now picture a new comfortable beautiful box. Visualize yourself stepping from one to the other. In this new box, you can embrace new habits and thoughts. You can try new ways to say and do things as well as new self messages.
I deserve a supportive relationship. We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. We can protect ourselves by putting up barriers to hurtful, controlling remarks and demands. Picture how animals protect their boundaries and respect others to take care of themselves. Ask yourself what a supportive relationship looks like to you and share it with those who are of support to you. Believe in your own value.
I release my disappointments. Hanging on to resentments and misgivings is a sure way to build anxiety and depression. Releasing disappointments can be visualized in many ways. One way is to name the disappointment and imagine putting it on an imaginary leaf to float down an imaginary stream. Another graphic visualization is to release one or several disappointments in an imaginary hot air balloon. You might also visualize a room with two doors in which you see the disappointment come in one door and exit the other. The disappointments don’t need to live in your mind, body, or spirit.
I am creating the life that I want. Putting your focus on the life that you want is the way to attract your desires. Try spending five to fifteen minutes a day watching a movie in your mind about the life that you want. Your intention will create your destiny. You’ll begin taking active steps to create a reality that is life fulfilling. Follow your positive self talk to create a meaningful life. Spiritual connection with a higher power will also give added guidance to your life. Knowing the recordings in your mind and where they came from is part of the equation to a healthier happier life. The other more important part is to choose what you say to yourself. This takes a conscious effort. Counseling is a valuable resource to identify the healthy and unhealthy messages an how to make adjustments. Listen to your voices and talk back.
By Sharon Nelson
One of our therapists, Carol Fowler, LCSW, is a certified Brennen Healing Arts Practitioner. The Brennen School is an intensive four-year program in energy healing and spiritual dynamics. Carol works out of out Rogers, Arkansas office, and is available for appointments Monday – Thursday.
Brennen Healing Science has helped individuals to:
To set up an appointment with Carol, call 479-283-6756. Or submit a Contact Form.
Gary Nelson, CCDP
While there are multiple reasons couples seek professional help for their relationship, often an underlying issue is that they no longer feel connected with one another in at least one of the following areas. Take a moment to honestly answer these questions regarding your partner:
1. Intellectual: Can this person connect with me intellectually?
2. Emotional: Can this person understand/handle my emotions? Do I feel comfortable sharing my emotions with my partner?
3. Spiritual: Does this person share or respect my spiritual/non-spiritual beliefs?
4. Chemistry: Does it feel natural and enjoyable to be in each other’s physical presence?
5. Lifestyle: How comfortable do I feel and function in my partner’s “world”? (Culture, eating habits, sleeping patterns, cleanliness, health, social habits, hobbies, etc.?)
If you find yourself doubting or rationalizing your answers…if something doesn’t feel “right”, then you probably won’t be satisfied and happy in a long term relationship with your partner. Often people start relationships connecting in only a few of these five ways such as enjoying similar social habits, a physical attraction or idealizing a professional achievement. However, over time, if all five of these connections aren’t satisfied, it can often leave someone wondering what went wrong, when actually the problem is that they didn’t find someone who satisfied all of their connection needs to begin with. Before you make any decision to enter into or end a relationship, make an appointment to see one of our professional counselors to explore your feelings and expectations about your relationship. We will be able to help you make an informed decision about the right direction to take.
Welcome to our new website. We’ve expanded our offices in an effort to continue to serve all of Northwest Arkansas with superior family counseling and addiction treatment. We’re still located in the Pinnacle Hills area of Rogers, near I-540 and New Hope Road. Our new name reflects our continued commitment to excellence.