Archive for: Mindfulness

The Power of Vulnerability – Brené Brown TED Talk

This is such a wonderful talk. Self-acceptance. Change. Self-love. Brené Brown knows what she is talking about. Give yourself a little gift: spend twenty minutes listening to what she has to say.

 

Why your summer reading list is a form of bibliotherapy

Bibliotherapy involves using books, stories, and other forms of literature to help “reach” someone in counseling. This type of treatment does not have to include the typical list of self-help books aimed at bettering yourself by looking inward and also does not have to be doing strictly in the counseling office. You can work towards a better understanding of yourself by using your summer reading list as a form of bibliotherapy. The introspection while reading can be conscious, subconscious, direct, or indirect. You do not have to pick up a book with the intent to read, process, understand, and “feel better” immediately after reading. The phases of bibliotherapy are as diverse as the books on your summer reading list. If you pick up the latest in ‘chick lit’ from the New York Times Bestseller list, you will be taken on a romantic, witty, and likely dramatic ride through the trials of being a twenty-something in the wake of dating, job hunting, and balancing life as a young woman. On the other hand, if you choose a young adult Sci-Fi novel, you will fall into a world of the adventure of slaying dragons and finding yourself on a journey to discovering who you are and want to be. No matter what you read and what you try to get out of a book or reading, you can find something unexpected. The bibliotherapy you get comes from the journey you take with the main characters and how you apply it to your own life. This can come in the form of a favorite fantasy story to take your mind off of an 8 hour work day or could help you realize what it is in life that you truly value. Your summer reading list takes you on a quest through the words on a page to a place where you can be yourself and enjoy the story. On the path to enjoying any type of literature, you form the opinions, insights, and learn to embrace the acceptance of yourself and the joy that comes from walking in another character’s shoes, whether they are red ruby slippers or hiking boots stained with blood of a mythical creature.

Erika McCaghren

Prayer: compassion, love, understanding, forgiveness, joy

“In a real prayer, you ask only for the things you really need, things that are necessary for your well-being, such as peace, solidity, and freedom — freedom from anger, fear, and craving. Happiness and well-being are not possible without peace, solidity, and freedom. Most of our desires are not for our peace, solidity, and freedom. While you pray, you are deeply aware of what you really need and what is just the object of your desire. This kind of prayer is the light of God that shines upon you, telling you which way to go in order to obtain peace, solidity, and freedom. In a real prayer, you also touch the wholesome seeds in your consciousness and water them. These are seeds of compassion, love, understanding, forgiveness, and joy. If while praying you can recognize these seeds in you and help them grow, your prayer is already a deep practice.”   – Contemplative Prayer

The Search for happiness

TED.com pioneered the digital presence of speakers on a world stage, to your own computer, tablet, or smartphone. Happiness and people’s perception of happiness is a hot topic of discussion today. How we each choose to pursue and believe in our own happiness is an ever-changing process of growth, introspection, and inspiration. Below are videos from TED Talks about three people’s very different views of happiness and how one can practice happiness daily.

#1: Matthieu Ricard – The Habits of Happiness
Ricard discusses navigating what some call “the dirty work of happiness” and how happiness is an attitude that can be found from within oneself, regardless of the outer experiences of life.
http://www.ted.com/talks/matthieu_ricard_on_the_habits_of_happiness.html?embed=true

#2: Neil Pasricha – The Three A’s of Awesome
Blogger of 1000awesomethings.com, dedicated to celebrating the simple things in life tells his personal journey with the three A’s of awesome: attitude, awareness, and authenticity.
http://www.ted.com/talks/neil_pasricha_the_3_a_s_of_awesome.html?embed=true

#3: Matt Killingsworth: Want to be happier? Stay in the moment
Killingsworth discusses his research into the mental state of everyday people and when they are happier. He talks about his findings that when a person’s mind wanders, people tend to be less happy.
http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_killingsworth_want_to_be_happier_stay_in_the_moment.html?embed=true

 

“May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.”
–traditional Buddhist prayer

 

Erika McCaghren

New Year's Resolutions: A Counselor's Perspective

The start of the new year is a great time to think about changing your habits and lifestyle. Want to lose weight? Communicate better? Pay off some debt? Become more organized? No time like the present to move your life in a healthy, more positive direction. Go for it!

But be careful. A New Year’s Resolution is not a license to savage yourself for being too disorganized, too fat, too scattered, to poor, or too anything. You don’t need a successful (or super strict) New Year’s Resolution to be worthy. You deserve to feel good about yourself right now. Exactly as you are. Resolutions fueled by shame are destined to fail. So watch out for destructive if, then statements. Too frequently we place these types of statements between ourselves and our self worth:

  • If I lose fifteen pounds, then I’ll feel beautiful.
  • If I organize all my closets, then I can relax and enjoy my home.
  • If I am out of debt, then I’ll feel secure.
  • If I am married, then my life will have meaning.
  • If I am perfect, then I’ll be worthy of self-love

Some of the above statements are flat-out wrong, dangerous. But some of them are partially true. If you are debt free, you will feel more financially secure. But can you feel more financially secure just by taking action to become debt free? That’s the trick. Give yourself the credit you deserve for your actions. Do not look only to your destination for satisfaction and peace.

Depression? Stress? Anxiety? Do you see these in yourself?

Oftentimes life weighs heavy and the idea of pushing through another day, another meeting, another list of demands of another thing, another meeting or another day, feels impossible! Even the though we know that it would be better if we take care of ourselves, we’re still unable to cope with yet another ‘have to’…another responsibility. So how can we relieve the pressure and find what we need?

 

It’s actually easier and more accessible than you think. The relief starts with the awareness of what we are physically feeling. Our bodies are the key to emotional and physical relief. By Paying attention to the pounding of your chest, while in traffic and taking a breath, will change the thought from: “I must be there NOW!” to: “I’ll get there as quickly as I can.” By Listening to the tension in your shoulders, and learning how and when to relax them will change your life. Learning to think about the kind words you might offer a friend will change how your body feels.

 

Learning the messages we say to ourselves are harsher than words you would use when you’re mad at someone you don’t like! The awareness of your body and thoughts, bring about self-care. This all must really starts with a desire for relief and a small willingness to understand self-compassion! As you become more aware of the feedback your body gives you when you think negatively of yourself, you’ll begin to have more relief. This is the beginning of learning how you can control one thing to reduce your stress. The practice of your thoughts in self-acceptance is the beginning of the NEW you! You really are good enough! You are exactly where you need to be!

Torie Sullivan, LPC

 

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