Reaching out for support is scary, especially in a society that pushes for independence and overemphasizes the importance of doing things on your own. Feeling nervous about starting therapy is completely normal. You are not alone in not knowing where to begin and do not have to figure it all out on your own.
Whether you have been contemplating starting therapy, scheduled your first intake, or have been in therapy for some time now – having questions is normal. Therapy is new for many of us, and it can be difficult to understand what to expect or know how the process works. Hopefully, these facts about therapy will answer some questions you may have and allow for a better transition into receiving the support you desire.
Your therapist is on your team
Therapy can feel incredibly awkward and feel you feeling vulnerable. Therapy will require you to open up about topics that you have locked away with the belief “this is not to be talked about with anyone”. When you come into therapy with preconceived judgment towards yourself, it is normal to wonder if your therapist is judging and analyzing you the same way.
One of the first requirements of being a therapist is to be nonjudgmental. What might feel like judgment is typically your therapy attempting to understand you and makes you you. Your therapist wants to learn more about your history, ways of thinking, emotional language, perspective on the world, and the people you have in your life. Your therapist is also working towards earning your trust so that they can be on your team and genuinely care about you.
First few sessions might feel “not like therapy”
The first few sessions typically referred to as “the intake” might typically feel like answering a set of predetermined question than diving into “why I’m coming to therapy”. After the intake it can take some time for you and your therapy to find interactions to be natural and comfortable. Taking time to become comfortable is expected and there is no “perfect amount of time” it takes.
Your voice matters, therapeutic collaboration is vital
Each session is your session. Your time is your time, and you have agency. The therapy will guide the therapeutic process; however, you are allowed to ask questions, express yourself freely, and provide your opinions. You might feel intimidated to express yourself, remember that being your authentic self will allow for you to get the most out of the time you are spending in each session. Questioning things and sharing curiosities are welcomed. You are allowed to reschedule and cancel sessions as needed (be aware of their cancellation policy). The best outcomes in therapy occur when there is collaboration between therapist and client.
Know your confidentiality is taken seriously
Therapists are required, by law, to protect your information. There are some limitations towards confidentiality. Ensure you discuss with your therapist what these limits are, they can range from being a danger to yourself all the way to unexpectedly running into each other in public. Ultimately, your therapist will protect what is shared in your sessions through record-keeping and administrative processes while ensuring it remains confidential.
Take as much time as you need to open up
There is no right or wrong timeline for ‘being an open book’ in therapy. The timeline depends on you and your past experiences. Building trust over time is natural and may time longer for some than others. Your therapist is meet you at your pace and support you through the process.
Every session is not going to be groundbreaking
Therapy is a process, and typically the process will not be linear. Some sessions are going to seem more active than others. Not every session is going to be groundbreaking or have a revelation you will leave with. Progress is going to take time and sometimes the progress is difficult to recognize. While reviewing progress you might realize those small, almost insignificant moments were meaningful shifts towards healing.
Consistency matters
At the beginning of therapy, you and your therapist are in a stage of building trust and getting into a flow. Logistics matter and sometimes you or your therapist may have some barriers that will only allow for so much. The goal is to prioritize consistency. Meeting more provides more opportunities to build rapport, connect patterns, and understand the process that are happening within your life outside of sessions. Be gentle with yourself regarding consistency, your therapist will understand.
Find the right fit
Your therapist wants you to get the most out of your sessions together and sometimes that means finding a different therapist who would be a better fit. Keep in mind, it will take some time to get into a comfortable rhythm with any therapist, so give the relationship time to develop. In the event that you believe you may want to explore other therapist options, know that it is okay to inform your current therapist. Telling them you want a different therapist is not going to hurt their feeling, they want you to benefit from therapy and understand that might mean seeing someone else. Your therapist is a knowledgeable resource for helping you find another therapist they believe you could connect with.
Your therapist is also human
When going to a therapist it is easy to put them on a pedestal. Viewing them as the experts in mental health, it can be easy to assume they are expects at experiencing hardships and not experiencing emotions themselves. Therapists have their own struggles and experience life’s rollercoaster just like everyone else. They are not perfect, and do not expect you to be either.
It is okay to have some fun with therapy
Therapy’s main objective is to explore challenging, emotional topics. That does not mean it cannot also include moments of levity and humor. Therapy does not always have to be extremely serious. You will most likely experience some small talk with your therapist, chatting about things such as local events, TV shows, books, and even what you had for lunch. These are natural moments of the therapeutic process, allowing a comfortable relationship between two individuals. At times you are going to cry, yell, and share deeply emotions information. You can also expect to smile, laugh, and share relatable information with your therapist.
