Marriage is not a casual endeavor. Your spouse is your partner in the project of building your life. Every part of your life. From financial management to toothpaste management, your spouse plays a key role. A great marriage is an evolving work of art. The key word here may be work. This is a good thing. A great marriage is not a happy magical accident. A great marriage is the result of work. Frequently it will be the fun type of work. Sometimes it will be the work type of work.
- Decide that you want to have a great marriage. Then figure our what a great marriage is. To paraphrase Ferris Bueller: Your marriage moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once and a while, you might miss it.
- How are you two doing communicating your needs? Do you understand the difference between your needs and your wants?Are you having any fun?
- Does your marriage have a spiritual orientation?
- Have you fallen in love lately? If you have been married more than a couple of weeks, your spouse is not the same person you married. Have you fallen in love with this newer version of your husband or wife?
- How is your marriage working as a small business? Are you building wealth? Financial security is key.
- What are you excited about right now? What aspect of the future?
- How is the physical intimacy in you marriage? Correct answer: Awesome! This is supposed to be the fun part. If it’s not great, that’s okay. As long as you both want it to be great, it can be.
These bullets, of course, are just a jumping off point, a place to begin a very important conversation. If at all possible, the conversation itself should be fun.