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Archive for: Relationships

Communication Breakdown

By Pinnacle Counseling
Thursday, January 1st, 2015

Communication is a foundational component of any relationship. Anyone who has ever tried to communicate with anyone knows that it’s often not as easy as it would seem. Frequently, there are complications. People can be pretty complicated. Those who claim they are not are often more complicated than most.

When two people communicate about their relationship there are many opportunities for what Led Zeppelin aptly termed the communication breakdown.

Here are a couple of the more common types of communication breakdown. We’ll explore each in detail in later posts. I’ll insert links as the detailed posts are published.

Communication Breakdowns:

Either or both individuals involved in a communication can take any of the above communication-breakdown actions at any point in the conversation. Yikes!

 

Categories : Marriage Counseling, Relationships

Relationships are like a Garden (part 2)

By Pinnacle Counseling
Thursday, January 1st, 2015

Healthy marriages and relationships are wonderful. They add to the excitement, acceptance, and well-being of individuals. With the garden analogy, one can agree that having help to “hoe a row” makes life less burdensome and more productive. Happy gardening!

Notice and be noticed;
One of the basic human needs is to be noticed in positive ways. Healthy relationships provide daily structure for conversations and comments about noticing a spouse’s feelings, accomplishments and gifts of service. Good practice: Each day either right before bed or earlier comment on something that you have noticed about your spouse in the past 24 hours. Have an agreement to seek new ideas and not repeat your compliments. Something new every time! Garden analogy: even if it seems trivial or common knowledge, keep the sunlight on your awareness of each other.

Enjoy;
A foundation of any healthy relationship is to enjoy the companionship, laughter, and activities together. Planning a variety of fun activities that brings out a playful side is a key ingredient. Good practice: Have regular and also spontaneous play dates with your spouse. Find mutual activities that are easy and bring a bond of laughter, or smiles, or fond memories while doing. Garden analogy: Stop and smell the roses. Why have them if you don’t enjoy them.

Please check back next week to read part three of our three part series on more ways to “grow” your relationships.

Sharon Nelson, LCSW

Categories : Affirmations, Anxiety, Change, Emotions, family counseling, Marriage Counseling, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Relationships, Therapy
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Stress and the Brain

By Pinnacle Counseling
Thursday, January 1st, 2015

Stressful events such as the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of job or home, or serious/chronic illness can actually affect the grey matter in the prefrontal cortex of the brain.  This region of the brain is responsible for self-control, emotions and physiological functions such as proper glucose and insulin levels.  Stressors can affect our mood centers and skew our ability to regulate pleasure and reward.  Prolonged exposure to stress can actually shrink the brain.  Brain volumes in the mood centers are linked to depression and anxiety.  People who have brain shrinkage seem to be more vulnerable when faced with a life trauma or sudden adverse event as the effects are magnified and their ability to cope is compromised.

Brain-enhancing activities to combat stress and make our brains more resilient to stress are recommended to diffuse some of the potentially harmful effects stress can have on the brain.  Some valuable stress relievers include exercise, meditation, taking a daily dose of DHA (Docosahexaenoic acid-an Omega 3 fatty acid) and maintaining strong emotional relationships.

Categories : Anxiety, Change, Depression, Emotions, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Relationships, Trauma, Uncategorized

The Impact of Bullying

By Pinnacle Counseling
Thursday, January 1st, 2015

Bullying is not only in the school system. It lives on long past the days of homeroom classes and lunch with friends. It lives on in the memory and creates an impact on your self-esteem, self-worth, and how you interact with those around you. Undoubtedly, bullying in some shape or form affects everyone on a variety of levels, whether the victim, perpetrator, or bystander. Employees at Disneyland, known as ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’, shared a video titled “It Gets Better”, about personal stories of bullying and feelings of being alone that were caused by bullying. The video is a tribute to the Trevor project (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/), a national anti-bullying campaign for LGBTQ youth, going strong since its founding in 1998. The strong message of hope after there seemed to be nothing but darkness and depression shines through in the people who bring joy on the job every single day. Each and every person carries their story and truth and no matter the struggle…

 

“No life is a one person show. You need to surround yourself with the people who love you for who you are and encourage you to share with the world the unique gifts that you have to offer.”

 

Next time you are feeling alone, reach out and always remember that it gets better.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCSUfFStTQE

 

Erika McCaghren

Categories : Anxiety, bullying, children, Depression, Emotions, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Parenting, Relationships, Teens, Therapy
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Communication Breakdown: Heat of the Moment

By Pinnacle Counseling
Thursday, January 1st, 2015

Have you ever lost control of your emotions during an argument? If your answer is yes then you are in good company. In fact, you share something in common with just about every person you’ve ever met. It is a thoroughly human thing to do, losing control of your emotions during an argument. It’s not something to be proud of. It’s certainly something that can be improved upon. But it is understandable. It is a very human thing to do.

Your emotions are real. You should listen to them. They have the power to change our lives. But in the middle of an argument with a loved one, they can confuse our communications. If our emotions are driving the boat, we could end up in treacherous waters. We could say things that we don’t mean. We could say things that we regret.

In the end, the result could be the same. Another failed communication. Another communication breakdown.

 

Categories : Relationships

Relationships are like a Garden (part 3)

By Pinnacle Counseling
Thursday, January 1st, 2015

Relationships are both complicated and simple at the same time. If you are struggling to stay “grounded”, seek professional advice. We, at Pinnacle Counseling are here to help.

Care about what the other needs;
Healthy relationships explore and support the needs of a partner while not ignoring their own needs. Individuals form “couples”, and they still have individual needs, wants, likes and dislikes. Honoring their special traits is key to remaining close. Good practice: Offer support of a need such as affection, attention, inclusion, time to be alone, or social groups even if it’s not a need of yours and is a little uncomfortable. Garden analogy: Some plants need more shade or grow better in sandy or cooler climate. They don’t grow if they don’t get what they need.

Feel relaxed;
In a world of pressure and anxiety, the couple who can be at ease with each other has shared a gift of why most couples form in the beginning. It takes intention and dedication to cultivate a feeling of relaxation in each other’s presence. Good practice: begin some kind of meditation, centering prayer, or down time that is about stillness rather than accomplishment. This is a time when less is more. Being relaxed during the day can add to a better night’s sleep which is also healthy for the mind, body, and spirit and relationships. Garden analogy: It doesn’t help to plant the seed and dig it up the next day to see why it’s stressed. Often we need to just let it be.

Sharon Nelson, LCSW

Categories : Change, Emotions, family counseling, Marriage Counseling, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Relationships, Therapy
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